Does the apple fall far from the tree?

There is always something about Apples that are used to describe certain important milestones in the history of mankind. For example, it was that apple that fell on Newton while he was resting under the apple tree that led to his ‘discovery’ of gravity! Well thanks to him and that apple that we are taught the concept of gravity since our lower grades! There is yet another apple related adage such as ‘The apple does not fall far from the tree’ that, in my opinion, is used to convey an important message. One can spend hours discussing the different apple related proverbs, but I am going to stick to ‘The apple does not fall far from the tree’ which is going to act as the premise to what is to follow below.

Children between the ages of 0 and 6 years are in that impressionable phase where they unconsciously ‘absorb’ everything that they see around them, more specifically they absorb the actions, words, and reactions of their primary caregivers. This concept of absorbing everything like a sponge is astounding as we adults do not have to spend hours lecturing them about what they need to do or what they should not do etc. However, the caveat to ‘absorbing’ everything and anything is that children do not have an ‘internal filter’ to discern the wrong from the right. This, thus, brings us to the precarious concept of ‘nature vs nurture’ when it comes to raising young children, between the ages of 0 and 6. I agree with many educators, who before my time, believe that it is a combination of both nature and nurture that influences the personality of young children.

I also truly believe that an adult might not be able to influence how the world operates (around a child) such as the lack of humanity or the prevalence of inequality etc. in the world. However, I do believe that an adult can be conscious of their actions, words, attitude around their child/children. A lot of us, unconsciously as adults operate like how our parents/caregivers would have operated and/or reacted in many situations in life. This makes me want to draw the parallel between how we operate, and the apple proverb used in the title. We are, whether we like it or not, a product of what we have seen or heard while growing up unless we decide to change consciously. Now, knowing how we operate as adults, we can be a good example for our children, so that they hear and see the right things around them based on how we react, or speak or behave.

Sometimes, we might have used certain word(s) that we do not want our children to know or use. But you would notice how children latch on to that particular word/words that we don’t want them to use. Well, this is an example of how they ‘copy’ whatever we do. If there is one thing, that I would like for you to take away from reading this is: model. Model the way you want your child to speak, model the way you want your child to treat others, model how you want your child to respond to other human beings etc. Most importantly, it is more than okay for us as adults to make mistakes, to say the wrong things or to have reacted to a particular situation in an unexpected or in a wrongful manner in front of our children. Children do not expect us to be perfect even though we might assume otherwise. What is important for us is to know that apples perhaps do not fall far from the trees and that we as adults can make a conscious decision to make sure that the apples that fall are great apples!